ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
