The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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