Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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