ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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