I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
