Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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