If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
