trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
