nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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