Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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