Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
