Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just gift wrapped bread.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
