You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
