Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
