wat bout pragnant strippers??
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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