HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
