i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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