Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My ATM looks so different sober.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize