DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
