We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
