I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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