If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
