Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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