My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
