I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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