I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
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