Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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