I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think my vagina is haunted
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
