i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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