youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
