you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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