Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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