u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's never too late to be topless.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
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