"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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