So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I party with great urgency now.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
