I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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