You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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