I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
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i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
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he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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