he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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