he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
