Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
