Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
