Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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