Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
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It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
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It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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