he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
