does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she pinky promised me she was 18
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
