I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just gift wrapped bread.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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