we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
