you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
