will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
