I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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