I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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