If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
