yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
