It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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