I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize